“Hurry!” How many times did I say that in those early years of homeschooling? Hurry and finish that math page. Hurry and get in the car. Hurry and eat. Hurry, hurry, hurry! Now that my children are graduating and leaving the house, I want to scream, “Slow down!” What drove me to spend so many of our early years in a hurry?
Recently, I sent a text to each of my homeschool friends that has graduated at least one child. I asked them what they wish they had done differently in homeschooling. I expected a great variety of answers. What I did not expect was a variation of the exact same answer. They all—every one of them—wish they would have slowed down. They admitted they were performance oriented, accomplishment driven, and highly pressured to do, do, do. These moms regret the time they spent pursuing success.
Why do we get so caught up in our children’s academic performance? I surmise it’s because of an underlying lie—the deception that our self worth is tied to our children’s achievements. We’re afraid for them to fail. With this fear as a motivator, we prioritize completing every assignment, finishing every course, and practicing to perfection. Our time is focused on outside classes, extra curricular activities, and competitions. Deep inside is a need to prove our worth as homeschooling moms—to reveal our competence and show those naysayers how wrong they are. Could it be that we’ve homeschooled with the fear of man as our guide?