I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard parents say, “They’re siblings; they’re supposed to fight.” This statement is not true! God commands us to love one another. Siblings are not exempt from this commandment. As a matter of fact, I believe we should treat our family members with even more love and respect, in order to honor our Heavenly Father. We need to realize what a blessing a brother or sister is.
We need to teach our children how valuable their siblings are. They need to see that God has created our families, and that each child is a gift and should be appreciated and adored. If we allow our children to tear each other down, it can cause division and have a harmful effect on the entire family. Our children should be taught to respect their siblings and to put their siblings’ needs above their own. This will please God and bring peace to our homes.
I think the main reason children squabble is because of the green-eyed monster: jealousy. Children fuss and fight because one child feels the other is getting more attention or is loved more. As parents, we need to make sure that we are not doing anything to make one child feel less than another. We need to work at paying equal attention to our children. I know this is easier said than done, but we must be willing to put extra effort into doing all we can to make each child feel equally loved and cared for.
Many times, we have a child who demands our attention, and we may not concentrate on a more docile child, who is playing quietly in their room. We forget to be sure they feel just as treasured as the child who is more outspoken about what they want and need. It’s important to take time to talk with them and ask them if they need or want anything from us. We should invite them to play games, or just sit and talk.
Another reason children may fight is because they are not given enough privacy or time alone. We had six children in our small home and it was tough trying to give each one their own space, so we had to be creative. If a child wanted some time alone, we would ask the other children, living in the same bedroom, to give their sibling some space for a certain amount of time. The one wanting privacy could go to their room, shut the door and just enjoy some solitude. Most of the time, they would be reading, crafting, or just sitting in the quiet atmosphere.
I believe one other reason kids fight is because, as sinful beings, we can be selfish and inconsiderate. This can be fixed by implementing character training, on a daily basis, in our homes. When we see our children treating one another with disrespect, we must step in and instruct them. There is one rule that all homes should enforce, and that is the Golden Rule. This is the rule of treating others as you would like to be treated. If we can instill this quality into our children, they will get along better.
So, the next time you see your children arguing and fighting, stop and think about what the root cause may be and sit them down and explain why it is important for them to be kind and considerate of their siblings. Read some Bible verses together. Show them what God has to say about loving our brothers and sisters. I think the best passage to present to them is 1 John 4:7-8:
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. [NIV]
These powerful verses show us how important it is that we love each other. God is love and, as Christians, we need to exhibit His love through our actions toward others, especially our brothers and sisters.
This is the King James Version:
Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
My name is Betty Daley. I am a wife, mother, and homeschooling teacher. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 24 years and we have six children. I have been homeschooling for 20 years. Our older three have graduated The Daley Academy, and we continue to homeschool our younger three. We love sharing about our homeschooling adventures. Our family motto is “Do all to the glory of God”. We pray that we can encourage others as we give you a look into our lives. https://letsgetreal2016.blogspot.com/