Slowing Down and Finding Margin

We homeschooling mamas are a unique bunch. We are each vastly different individuals, but we often struggle with the same challenges. One of the top challenges I have battled with, and see others battling with is our seeming inability to slow down. Somewhere, somehow, we have this idea that we need to be Super Girl or Wonder Woman and fix all of the world’s problems—today.

Where have we gotten this warped idea that it is up to us to fix all the other people’s problems? Or the more troubling idea that we can fix other people? God alone is the fixer—the Great Physician, the healer. When we slow down enough to recognize His greatness, we realize our dependence, and we begin to understand we cannot fix everything or everybody.

Now, do not hear me wrong; I am not saying to ignore the overflowing toilet, the spilled syrup on the countertop, or the mountain of laundry. What I am wanting us to do is take a step back, stand in the margin, and think about which tasks God is truly calling us to accomplish today. As the mom, it is your job to care for the home, to watch over the growth of your children, and to use the plunger when necessary—it might even be your job to hold an outside job as well. I get that. I’ve been there, done that, and have the sore muscles to prove it. But it is NOT your job to try to cure all the world’s ills on Facebook, to make every day’s lunch Pinterest perfect, or to save your neighbor’s eternal soul.

As moms, we face a daunting task—to love our families as God has loved us, to give up the very best of ourselves in service to our family as unto the Lord. There will be days when you don’t even want to get out of bed, much less wipe another snotty nose or change another poopy diaper. And yet, that is our calling—to serve the least of these for Christ by serving the masses in our own homes. We cannot argue someone into the Kingdom of God anymore than we can save our neighbor from her bitterness towards God. What we can do, and should be doing, is seeking God’s face in prayer, each and every day, for direction for our own steps, and in supplication that He would work in those other lives around us.

Mama, you are a superwoman, and you have a great many skills and talents to be used for the glory of God. First though, you must step back to the edges, the margin of your life, the clear, white breathing room and humbly ask God for strength and direction.

You may be thinking: But what if I don’t have any margin? Then it is time to slow down and find some. Do you remember the phrase stop and smell the roses? It is a reminder to slow down enough to appreciate the small pleasures of life. Remember, being busy does not mean we are being productive. Three days a week I work outside the home as a merchandizer in a local grocery store. The store employees get a laugh when they see me walk by the floral department and stop to smell the roses. I do it a lot, like almost daily. It is too easy for me to be thinking of all my tasks at work, and my to-do list at home after work, and get busy yet not be productive. Stopping to smell the roses is a small way of reminding myself that God has important things for me to do today, but I might miss them if I am too busy. This 30 second stop in the floral department is just a tiny piece of the margin in my life, but it reminds me to think of the God who created the roses, the people who might receive the roses, and the ladies who sell the roses.

It reminds me that while my tasks may seem daunting each day, the God who cares for all of us is bigger than any challenges I may face on the way.

Mama, where is your margin?

Where is that white space in your schedule that allows you to refocus on God? Is it at 2:00 a.m. after the baby nurses and goes back to sleep? Is it at 5:55 a.m.—in the five minutes before your alarm goes off? Maybe it is at 1:15 p.m. when your little one drifts off to sleep for his afternoon nap, or perhaps it happens at 7:00 p.m., while dad is reading the children a story, and you are blissfully loading the dishwasher—all by yourself.

We cannot listen well for the voice of God if we have so crammed our schedules with activities and school lessons that we never have a moment to be still and know He is God. If you are struggling with an overloaded schedule, now is the time to make tough choices about what can stay and what must go. If you have no margin in your life, no breathing room at all, it is time to sit down with your spouse and make the hard decisions about what to give up. Maybe you choose not to go to co-op second semester, or your child takes a break from organized sports. Maybe you give up that scrapbooking workshop you wanted to attend to instead spend time at home reading God’s Word. Maybe your husband makes a point to spend 15 minutes every single evening with the children so you can have quiet time—alone, without having to lock yourself in the bathroom. Whatever it is—if you ask God, He will show you what thing (however good you think it is) to give up in order to find margin for the best things.

Praying you find margin, and time to slow down, stop and smell the roses.

If the idea of margin is new to you, and you want to learn more, read this post: The Answer is NO!!!

Carol Emmert and her husband Kurt are in their 15th year of home education. With one graduate and one high school senior, Carol writes with a practical look at the whole journey of home education. Focusing on experienced based education and frugal ways to teach and learn well, Carol offers encouragement that anyone, even working moms, can homeschool successfully. Carol writes for her local newspaper, the TOS Homeschool Review Crew, and reviews books for several Christian Publishers. You can find her love of nature, field trips, and lifelong learning on her blog: Home Sweet Life.