By Theresa Blume
Jeremiah 17:7-8 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.”
Earlier this year I had been going through some type of identity, spiritual, midlife crisis. Since December I suddenly seemed to lose my foundation and felt like I was drifting without purpose. At first I was scared and immediately started searching everywhere for answers. However, there was no answer, and no one was able to help me.
I knew God was there, but I felt disconnected to a point that I had never felt before. I started studying and reading and asking questions. I gained a tremendous amount of knowledge from it all, but still no answers to my questions of purpose.
I contacted one of my friends to find out how to deal with the crisis of energy and serving my purpose. What my friend told me was the wisdom that I desperately needed. They told me I was obviously some type of teacher, so I should ask God for my purpose to come to me and tell Him I was ready to accept it. They told me to keep my eyes open and to just “be” in this cocoon stage.
So I relaxed, and went about my business learning patience, submitting to God’s will and timing. I kept my eyes open and every day I asked God to let my purpose find me. In less than a week, my purpose showed up in my own house.
I was going over homework with my daughter, who was then in public school, and it started getting frustrating. I put her homework aside and asked to see her daily schedule. Asking her to describe to me her daily routine, I began to see serious flaws in her structure. I then began to explain to her how to properly do things so that she would make it successfully in school. She crossed her arms and sullenly put her eyes to the ground.
It was late, so I told her to go to bed. I went downstairs to relieve my frustration and found my son as a listening post. “She is so stubborn!” I hissed. He smiled and said, “So are you!” Ignoring him, I persisted, “But she doesn’t listen!” Laughing, he replied, “Neither do you!” Not sure if I should take this as a compliment or a smart remark, I left my son to say goodnight to my daughter. I found her crying in her bed.
Asking her what was wrong; she began to tell me her frustrations at being in school all day, doing things the way the teachers wanted her to. She then said to me, “Mom, you are the best teacher I ever had. You make learning fun!” Then she begged me to homeschool her like we started to do just before we moved.
While she was talking I saw a vision of a huge wave of people all going one direction–to school, to jobs, marrying, etc. I then saw that 10% of all people merge away from this crowd and go off in different directions. They are considered weird, not normal, crazy, etc. I recognized Einstein whose parents were told he was retarded at an early age, I saw Picasso–misunderstood by most everybody, and I saw Beethoven and Helen Keller.
I also saw my daughter, Serena. She is a creative genius who has been teaching herself the French language instead of doing homework because she decided she is going to Paris someday. She creates things I can’t even begin to describe with things I didn’t even know could be used. Yet, she was getting detentions in school for not turning in assignments.
I had a Picasso living in my own house and didn’t see it! I knew the answer was to homeschool her again.
I silently prayed as we talked under the covers late into the night. I realized that I was probably going to have to learn French (HELP!). That’s when I remembered my friend saying to me, “You’re obviously some type of teacher.”
My son was right–I was being stubborn and refusing to listen to God. This is why I felt so out of sync. God has been telling me that I am a teacher.
I am not in crisis anymore. My daughter is happier than ever, creating incredible things as I write this. I now know without a doubt that my purpose has found me.
Prayer: “Lord, when we are in a drought or crisis of some type, help us to seek You, instead of trying to find a quick answer. Help us to just “be” for a while. As we play with the kids, visit our friends, and let Your creativity flourish through us, we ask that You bring your purpose to us. And, open our ears to hear when You are speaking.”