March 22, 2023 – When They Won’t Listen – How to Gain Attention

Mercy Every Minute

Deborah Wuehler, TOS Senior Editor

Helping Your Kids Become Engaged Learners

Sometimes little ears are stopped up. They can’t hear us because they are so engrossed in something else. Or maybe they willfully refuse to listen. That would be a character issue that needs some training. It may be cabin fever, and they need to get wiggles out before they can sit down to concentrate. But maybe they can’t hear because we are not teaching in a way that is engaging them at their best learning style. This is why we need God’s wisdom and creativity.

For regular life listening skills, we teach our toddlers that they must listen and obey immediately (for obvious safety reasons). Many children can only carry out one instruction at a time even into their teen years! If they are consistently not listening to your instruction, this would need consistent discipline and/or reward systems.

If they are very active, it could be they can’t listen when they are putting all their concentration and energy into being still. So, we give them something to do with their hands or bodies while we teach. The act of doing something with their body frees up their mind to listen.

For educational instruction that doesn’t seem to be getting through, we can try varied methods. It might look like what we call a “multi-sensory approach” to teaching, using all their senses to learn. We keep them engaged either with their hands, their eyes, their input, or with motivation, rewards, music, art, games, read-alouds, contests, learning apps, park days, field trips, kitchen math, science experiments, lapbooks, crafts, plays, nature walks, gardening, raising animals, entering project fairs, feeding the homeless, knitting, sewing, sword making, science collecting, etc., anything other than book work. You just may see your bored learner become an engaged learner.

This is the opposite of what traditional school offers children where they must fit into the school mold, rather than opening a door for the child to learn in freedom in the way they were created. Your children will have far better memories and a far greater learning capacity, along with aptitude and life skills, because of all the engaging teaching you are doing—and they will have your attention. And when they do, educate their heart, soul, and mind for eternity.

In case you needed a reminder, you are doing what is best for your children by keeping them Home. Where They Belong.

~ Deborah

P.S. Check out these exceptional articles on this topic.

Unlock Your Fidgety Child’s Ability to Learn and Focus, by JK Mergens
Encouraging Attentiveness, by Karen Andreola
Three Myths About the Distracted Child, by Laurie Detweiler

10% off a copy of A Tale of Two Kingdoms for $22.50 USD or $26.10 CDN includes shipping, valid until September 30 with discount code SALE2023, www.tale2k.com/order_books.html

Stacy Farrell

HomeschoolAdventure.com

Why Aren’t They Listening? It’s All About Relationship

There is, of course, a difference between distraction and disobedience. If your children aren’t listening to you, you need to determine why. If their lack of attention represents a lack of respect, you need to address it the same as any other act of defiance—firmly, swiftly, and with consequence. But what if it is something less intentional?

Basic Needs Must Be Met

There are a variety of reasons why children don’t pay attention:

• Poor diet or lack of sleep can make concentration difficult.
• Children will mimic the poor listening practices of those around them.
• Many children don’t understand what it means to listen carefully.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to make sure our children get the nutrition and sleep they need. It’s also our responsibility to teach them how to listen—and to model good listening practices.

Relationships Are Built Over Time

Do you want to listen to someone who has a habit of tuning you out? Once we have taught our children how to listen, we need to honestly consider what will make them want to listen to us.

• They need to know that we value them.
• They need to know we truly hear them.
• They need to believe we have their best interests in mind.

How do we communicate such things? By investing in our relationship with them—day by day.

• Show genuine interest in the things they care about.
• “Let them talk without fear of being criticized.”
• Express compassion and empathy.

Seek the Lord Together

It’s our job to model godly character for our children. But we need to remember we can do nothing apart from Christ. We need His help to develop our ability to listen carefully—with love in our hearts. And so do our children. So, as we model and teach good listening skills, we also need to model and teach prayerful dependence upon our faithful God. What a blessing it is to know He always listens to His children!

His love,

Stacy

About the author

Surprised by Jesus, Stacy went from an unmarried, childless, 30-something career woman to a Christ-following wife of more than twenty-eight years with two sons she homeschooled K-12. She battled fear and overwhelm, but survived and thrived. Author of more than books—including the award-winning Philosophy Adventure and newly released Food Prep Guide, she loves to equip and encourage homeschool families. Visit her at HomeschoolAdventure.com or at her newly-launched site: FoodPrepGuide.com.

Adam and Dianne Riveiro

Pillar of Future
Adam and Dianne Riveiro – Tips to Help Kids Stay Attentive

In college, I took a class called Classroom Management, and learned the theory behind running a well-organized classroom. So later, when I began homeschooling, I thought it would be a walk in the park. After all, I only had two students, and I was their mother. How hard could it be?

As I’m sure you are already guessing, it wasn’t as smooth as I anticipated. Come to find out, whether you have a classroom of two or twenty, all children will lose focus at one point or another. Here are a few tips I have learned that help when my students are less than attentive.

1. TRY using a different modality. For example, if you are working on math problems on a whiteboard, switch to a hands-on math problem.
2. TURN on a visual timer and show them how much work you expect to be done when the timer ends. This is especially helpful if you have students who are competitive.
3. TAKE a break. Sometimes we all just need a movement or brain break. Go for a ten-minute walk outside, or do body stretches, or even a quick chore. Then come back refreshed, and pick up where you left off.

About the author

Pastor Adam and Dianne Riveiro live in Easton, Massachusetts, where Adam leads Liberty Baptist Church. They’re the authors of several books, including Hope from Our Heart to Yours: A 30-Day Devotional Journey for Special Needs Families, available from their family’s publishing label at www.readyscribepublications.com. They have four children: Bethany, Kaylee, AJ, and Peyton. They’re passionate about helping their fellow special needs families find joy and contentment in Christ.

Sometimes in parenting we find ourselves disconnected from our children, and we need to step back and consider a better way of communicating with our children. In the Homeschooling That’s Relational course at SchoolhouseTeachers.com, you’ll find resources designed to help moms refresh and reflect on what is important: loving family, loving learning, and loving God.