More Weakness, More Strength

Mama said there’d be days like this, right? What about weeks and years? Homeschooling with a growing family isn’t easy. Like when I’m reading to my five and three-year-old kids and my seven-year-old perfectionist has a classic meltdown in the other room.

“I hate this! I can’t do typing.”

“It’s ok, just finish the section you’re on…”

“Mommy! You’re not reading,” my five-year-old chimes in.

“Ok sweetie, where were we? Oh, that’s right… I do not like them Sam-I-Am…”

“I keep getting it wrong. Could you come help?”

“I have to use the potty, Mommy,” a word from my toddler.

“Ok, go ahead in there, I’ll come help.”

“You didn’t answer me!” the seven-year-old.

“Yes I’ll help, just a moment…”

“Couldn’t you finish the story first?”

Then, my four-week-old baby’s cries echo through the monitor.

Yep, these are the days I think sobbing behind a closed door would accomplish more. The chaotic moment may last only a few minutes, but I’m left drained and weakened, my motivation deflating like yesterday’s balloon. I can’t do this. Then I attend a “Yes, You Can” homeschool event, where parents with ten kids in tow are making it look easy. And I return with fully inflated motivation and wide-eyed kids. It’s not long before I’m winded and frustrated again. And the proverbial vicious cycle continues.

Until I discovered something. A lot of the helpful tips I’d received over the years from well-intentioned homeschoolers things like: “You can do it!”, “It’ll get easier”, “Hang in there”. The focus was always on my strength. My effort. Me, me, me. And where did this always leave me? Deflating.

The truth is I can’t do this. There’s no curriculum, no schedule, no genius organizational hack that can solve the above scenario. Jesus says plainly, “Apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5, ESV). Forget homeschooling– without Him I can’t even breathe. And you know what? Admitting this is refreshing. I can’t, but He can! And I homeschool my children because I want them to learn this– to learn that life’s about Christ living through them, to learn of the One who made them for Himself. As Jim Elliot wrote in his diary, “Mayhap in mercy He shall give me a host of children that I may lead them through the vast star fields to explore His delicacies whose finger ends set them to burning.”

If there is a key to homeschooling it’s this: God is able to give us the wisdom we need for each moment. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me (2 Cor 12:9, ESV). Now, when frustrations build and interruptions distract, we stop and pray. I find that the weaker I am any given day, the stronger I am because I’m seeking His strength. What should be my worst days end up being my best! I pray the same for you, dear reader. May the Lord bless your weaknesses with His strength!

Carole Ruffin is wife to Jesse and mom of five wonderful kids. She’s the author of Kids, Crayons, and Christ early elementary art curriculum, and also a graduate of the Cleveland Institute of Art. She blogs about practical ways to include art in every subject, and also creative ways to teach older kids when you have a new baby. Here’s her blog: http://www.drawinguntohim.com/homeschool