April 8, 2026 – Debunking the Socialization Myth

Mercy Every Minute

Deborah Wuehler, TOS Senior Editor

Socialized into Conformity

Homeschooled children don’t need to be formally “socialized” because they have a myriad of opportunities to engage with their communities. However, those children who are public-school educated are actually the ones missing out on this kind of positive socialization. They are stuck in classrooms with same-aged peers all day, so are not allowed the freedom to socialize with all ages and diversities of peoples as the home educated are blessed to do.

There are many studies that show that the homeschooled perform better socially, emotionally, and psychologically. Here is a stat to consider:

• 87% of peer-reviewed studies on social, emotional, and psychological development show homeschool students perform statistically significantly better than those in conventional schools (Ray, 2017).

The politically correct definitions of socialization today sound like complete conformity to the values of society. Since our culture has redefined the definition, I don’t want my kids “socialized” into their conformity. 

“The adoption of the behavior patterns of the surrounding culture; the socialization of children to the norms of their culture” (WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University).

“The process of learning interpersonal and interactional skills that are in conformity with the values of one’s society” (American Heritage Stedman’s Medical Dictionary).

We have a much higher authority to guide us. Here’s what the Bible says about socialization, and our homeschooled children follow these standards incredibly well. 

Proverbs 13:20

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

1 Timothy 4:12 

“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

James 1:27 

“Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”

Keep being the amazing homeschoolers you are, and continue all the incredible positive socialization you are already doing, as you keep your precious children Home. Where They Belong.

~Deborah

Socialization? What’s The Big Deal? by Deborah Wuehler, The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine

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You Can Homeschool. We Can Help! What’s your story? Join the conversation at ClassicalConversations.com/TOS 

Stacy Farrell

HomeschoolAdventure.com

The Question

If you’ve homeschooled for any length of time, no doubt, you’ve been asked, “The Question.” You’re asked at family gatherings . . . in the checkout line . . .  or by well-meaning neighbors: “But what about socialization?”

New homeschoolers can be intimidated by “The Question.” Veterans can be annoyed. But it’s important to recognize that many who ask really don’t know much (if anything) about homeschooling. You may be the first homeschool family they’ve met. 

Patience Required

Rather than react defensively or with irritation, perhaps . . . take a deep breath, smile, and respond with kindness.  (Always kindness.)

Who knows whether the person who asks might be secretly pondering the possibility of homeschooling their own children?

Their Definition

So, what is socialization, anyway? 

• Britannica tells us it’s “the process whereby an individual learns to adjust to a group (or society) and behave in a manner approved by the group.” 
• Merriam-Webster describes it as acquiring “the values, habits, and attitudes of a society.” 
• Google boils it down to learning to behave in ways acceptable to society. 

The recurring theme? 

Fitting in. Conforming. Adopting the group’s norms.

The Real Question

In light of those definitions, the question we should ask is: “Do we really want our children socialized by the public school system?”

Do we want them primarily shaped by same-age peers, peer pressure, and whatever values happen to dominate the playground or classroom?

Answer with Grace

Next time “The Question” comes your way, answer with grace. You might just be planting a seed. 

With His love,

Stacy 

FREEBIE:
Speaking of socialization, grab this free list of good manners: https://homeschooladventure.com/op/good-manners-list/

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About the author

Surprised by Jesus, Stacy went from an unmarried, childless, thirty-something career woman to a Christ-following wife of more than thirty years with two sons she homeschooled K-12.

Author of more than twenty books—including the award-winning Philosophy Adventure and Food Prep Guide: A Plan for Money-Saving, Self-Sustaining Abundance in Hard Times—she loves to equip and encourage homeschool families. Visit her at HomeschoolAdventure.com and at FoodPrepGuide.com.

Hal and Melanie Young

Which Socialization?

In All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, Robert Fulghum listed principles everyone should know, like “Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people.” That’s socialization.

But skeptics always ask homeschoolers, “What about socialization?”—as if our children wouldn’t understand these basic ideas about getting along with others without going to school. 

But has that proven true?  No, it hasn’t. College administrators say homeschool graduates function well in campus society and leadership roles, not just academically. Some corporations seek out home-educated students for customer service roles.  

On the other hand, their generation as a whole is socially anxious, depressed, and fearful about face-to-face interaction, which has been almost entirely replaced by social media, gaming, and scrolling. The socialization of Gen Z and Alpha—centered around school culture—isn’t working well. 

As homeschoolers, we know when we take on our children’s education, we’re also responsible for the character lessons as always. As believers, we want our kids to grow strong in their faith, prepared to engage the world outside with courage and grace. We want them to be examples of “speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity” as believers (1 Timothy 4:12). And that example is carried out in their kindness, consideration, and thoughtfulness toward others—lessons we teach at home! So don’t be put off by the questions; just smile, tell them you’ll take care of it, and then disciple your kids like you already planned to do! 

Hal and Melanie

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About the author

Hal and Melanie Young have been homeschooling almost as long as they’ve been married, and they’re still happy with both decisions! They wrote My Beloved and My Friend: How to Be Married to Your Best Friend Without Changing Spouses to encourage their young adults – find out more at raisingrealmen.com.

Education takes time, intention, and trusting the process. Like building a house, the foundation of memorizing facts gives a solid base on which to add the brick and mortar of analysis and communication of knowledge. Science now supports the classical education model of teaching students in stages, from grammar to dialectic to rhetoric. Check out the Biblical Classical Education Center at SchoolhouseTeachers.com to learn more about classical education and explore the classical options available.