The Comparison Trap

/ / Articles, Blog, Encouragement

This or That

I am a mom of only three girls. My oldest successfully graduated from the public high school several years ago…..we are not country dwellers, and I don’t grind my own flour….yet I am a homeschooling mom.  HOW CAN THAT BE??  LOL!

Have any of you fallen victim to the comparison trap. I knew that I wanted to homeschool my younger two children, but I felt like I couldn’t relate to other homeschool families.  First of all, my oldest daughter had graduated from the public school system. What would people think of me for that one? Should I tell them or just keep it to myself? Next, I only had three children. Isn’t that frowned upon in homeschool circles? Is there a minimum child rule or something? (I know you think I’m joking…but I really struggled with that) I would look around at the families blessed with five or more kids and think that they had some kind of magic trick that I did not. I thought for sure their homeschool efforts would somehow reap a better harvest than mine. Lastly, I am a city dweller! <Gasp!> I know right!? I rarely grow any food for myself, and I have never ground my own wheat into flour!  I mean, I know families that live in the country and grow all their own food and homeschool all their children, I felt that surely they must be doing it all right and I am simply fumbling around wandering, aimless, and clueless…..

Some of you might think I am just being silly, but I really had a struggle. I spent too much time looking around comparing myself to everyone around me. I had a real problem! You see, I had to come to terms with the fact that none of those things really mattered. I didn’t need to have seven children to somehow qualify to be a homeschool parent. God blessed me with three, and no more. That fact wasn’t going to change. But think about how irrational that thinking is…..I know I am not the only one. Sometimes we get so caught up in comparing ourselves to everyone else, and we forget to simply be ourselves. Am I the only mom that would look at the homesteading homeschooling families and think, “How much better of a homeschool mom I would be if…..”

Why do we always wish for what we don’t have? Why do we try to complicate our lives in the name of “perfection?” What leads me to be discontented with who God made me to be and what He has placed in my life to tend?  I know that discontentment does not come from God. He has gifted me with certain things and asked me to be faithful to tend, nurture, develop, and grow those gifts to the best of my ability. He has also gifted some of you with other things and asked you to do the same. It is so important for us to be mindful that God knows what He’s doing. Instead of comparing ourselves, and getting envious, or frustrated…..we should count our blessings.  I am so glad to have the opportunity to homeschool my two girls. What an absolute blessing to watch them grow and develop into young women right before my eyes. I am so glad that I have found the peace that comes from resting in my Savior and learning to take everything one day at a time, thankful for the many blessings that He has given me. Realize that God doesn’t make mistakes. He crafted and designed you and your family on purpose! Don’t fall in the comparison trap!

Barbette Yingst I am the mother of three girls ages 21, 17 and 14.  I also seem to collect pets!  My husband and I got married 25 years ago and have been on this grand adventure called life together ever since!  I have been homeschooling for 5 years, and love it more each year. I love God with all my heart and want to do all I can each day live my life for Him! You can find her at 3 Girls, My Guy, and I.

1 Comment to “ The Comparison Trap”

  1. Haha. I’m a small family homeschooler too! With only two children, I sometimes feel guilty about my bad days because I feel like it should be so easy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).