Valentine's Day: What is Love, and How Can We Show It?


What is Love?

/ / - Family, Articles, Blog
valentine's day

February seems to revolve around Valentine’s Day, and the theme of love. A lot of money is spent on showing that special someone how loved they are. How do we define love? Everyone wants to be loved and feel loved. Would you describe love as a warm and fuzzy feeling? Is love a box of expensive chocolates with a generic card? Does a big stuffed animal with a heart in the middle adequately show what love is? Does a nice romantic dinner show forth love? Does a bouquet of beautiful flowers make love truer? Does a box of candy conversation hearts really make you feel loved? If you only show your love on Valentine’s Day, and you think love can be bought, then your love is shallow.

I am not against Valentine’s Day. I like doing special things for my husband and children on Valentine’s Day. But, if I forget to show my family love each and every day, then Valentine’s Day is just another commercialized holiday. Love is not just words but also actions. If I tell my family, “I love you,” but my actions show something different, then I am miscommunicating my love. I’ll give you some examples. I’m working hard trying to get my housework done, and every time one of the kids wants to show me something or ask me a question, I blow them off. I don’t take time to kiss their slobbery cheeks, to look at their LEGO creations, or just to smile at their silliness. I love them, but they don’t feel loved. So, the clean house might make them comfortable, but it doesn’t make them feel loved. In the evening, I neglect my husband because I didn’t finish my housework, and it’s really important to finish my to-do list. Instead of sitting by him, I run around cleaning. I am all for a clean house, but at what price? My husband knows I love him, but he feels like my priorities are messed up, and he doesn’t feel loved. I know love is way more than a feeling. But it doesn’t hurt to feel secure and loved.

Are we teaching our children the right views on love? If we show our children that love is something we get on Valentine’s Day, then we are going to produce young people who are constantly seeking more and more stuff. Our love can encourage us to buy a special gift for someone we love and that’s fine, but we know that love is in the action not the gift. It’s good to feel loved, but love has to go way beyond a feeling. If our children think love is just a feeling, then when they get older and have been married for many years and are past the newlywed marital bliss stage, they may think they are not “in love” anymore. But that’s just not true. Love has many stages.

So, what is love? Love is caring for your sick spouse, when they can’t take care of themselves. Love is caring for your little baby, even though you haven’t slept in days. Love is kissing boo-boos, wiping tears away, and having a tickle fight. Love is seeing a person how God sees them, and doing all you can to help them. Love is giving food to the hungry, clothes to the cold, and kindness to someone who needs a friend. Love is a kind word in due season. Love is loving your enemy and praying for them. Love seeks peace and has compassion. Love comes in many different shapes and sizes. Love changes lives. The greatest love story ever known to man is the love Christ has toward us. He loved mankind, even though some would never return His love. He gave His life for a lost and dying world. Love—not the nails—kept Him on the cross. No other love can compare to God’s love. His love is unchanging!

We should love as God loves. We shouldn’t just love those whose lives are beneficial to ours. We should love those who have nothing to offer us, yet we love them because God loves them.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 is talking about love:

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth.”

Let’s demonstrate God’s love this Valentine’s Day—and not only on Valentine’s Day, but every day! It’ll truly change lives.

Hi, my name is Jessica. I am married to a wonderful husband and we have six children, 1 girl and 5 boys. God has blessed my life. He is too good to me. I try to juggle homeschooling, housework, and writing. I have self-published a couple of books. You can follow me on my Facebook page.

2 Comments to “ What is Love?”

  1. Vicky daves says :Reply

    Very well said, wish people would show love to there family. So, many families are being torn apart. It’s like the grass is greener over there. Families are worth fighting for.

  2. So true. I’ve often heard God’s love described as an “action not a feeling”.
    Finding the balance of focus on those I love and teaching them to be loving can be a difficult thing. Each morning before plunging into my day I turn my face to God and ask for his help to know how to choose what he wants for each moment. There are times when I have to tell my children “not now”, but more when it is the right thing to stop and spend time with them- even if it means letting them play the piano instead of finishing my piece first.
    Seems like some wise mom once said the dishes and house will still be there long after the tiny mouths and feet have moved away. Someday I’ll miss having children small enough to fit several on my lap for snuggle time- and I’ll still want to be in love with their daddy, too. Love is at the core of what matters, as you point out, it is what fuels God whose image we bear!

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"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).