Hey Mama Monday: When Your Kids Bring You Pain

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Hey Mama


Hey Mama,

You’ve heard the saying about how when your kids are little, they step all over your feet, but when they become teens or young adults, they step all over your heart. Heart pain is far, far worse than foot pain.

This is because of “the investment.”

See, all these years you had such dreams for how they’d grow up; you’d be best friends; they’d love the Lord, like you. They’d be honest, right thinkers, never betrayers. And you poured yourself into them. You weren’t perfect, but you loved them, and they should have known it. They should have the logic, the reasoning and the ability to see what you gave up (time and time again) in order for them to have everything they needed. And you didn’t just provide for their physical needs. You drove home the point forever and a day that they were loved so much, cherished, adored. They belonged; they were not alone. Your sweet baby.

All the heart talks. The money that wasn’t there – but you found it anyway because it meant they had what they really wanted or needed. The time, the pain, the sleepless nights. All the stress that goes into being a Mama…you accepted it. You endured.

And then that season came where everything was thrown right back into your face. A slap far more painful than anything physical could ever be. The twisted logic, the victim mindset, the false beliefs, and worse yet, their embracing of so-called friends who made things even worse. The deception began.

What you have to remember is that you gave them to the Lord so long ago. All that investment you keep thinking about – it was truly for them, not for you. It was a living sacrifice unto the Lord. You modeled an un-ending love, like that of Christ. It was for their good, so they would know one day, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they were so very loved, so cared for.

But that wretched, stomach-twisting season came. For years it stayed. Maybe it’s still here, for some of you Mamas (you know who you are). Hope deferred. Heart sick. Maybe they will soon turn a corner.

Someday they will “get it.” Someday they will see. Someday their detractors will be silenced, and someday the Lord will reveal all things and open the eyes of your wayward one. I pray it’s this side of heaven. Hope deferred. Heart so sick.

God hears your cries.

Train them up, anyway, Mama. Do exactly as the Bible tells you. It doesn’t return void, His word. You have planted seeds, sown them deeply, watered them year after year; and your great God and Savior is the Harvester. Let Him do His work; it is not yours to invest in anymore, apart from praying unceasingly.

Put it down. Put it at His feet.

Faithful Mama, I write this to those who have expressed a sadness… or a desire to hear words of comfort about their older ones. Little ones stepping all over toes and feet, rubbing their yucky noses in your hair, poking you straight in the eye while you sleep, sneezing on your plate, screaming in church, embarrassing you by loudly announcing how fat your friend is (in front of said friend)….that’s a cake walk.

Children caught up in deception…Children who walk away from you… not so cake-like. Grief-like.

You know who you are, Mama, right now. And you have to know this, too: You spoke the truth. You stood firm. You gave and gave. God saw it. He still sees. He remembers. And don’t worry; He also acts.

His hand is still on your head – and that of your wayward one’s. God is working out His own plan, and it is good. All things work for good to those who love the Lord. And you love Him with all your heart. Pray, Mama. Stay faithful to the end. The Harvester does the rest; He wins. <3


1 Comment to “ Hey Mama Monday: When Your Kids Bring You Pain”

  1. emma says :Reply

    This hits close to home. My oldest son ended up quite wayward when he moved away to college. He stopped attending all of his classes to make bad choices and was eventually kicked out of school. This hurt my momma heart so bad as we had raised him differently. I just had to remember that kids are allowed to make their own decisions and not to blame myself. We eventually helped him find a treatment program that set him on the right path and now all is well. To any other mothers in the same position, it’s hard, but stay strong, remember that it’s not your fault, and do all you can to nudge them back in the right direction.

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"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

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