Squeezing into the “Experts” Mold

Every parent knows there are milestones in a babies life.

2 months-holds head up

3 months-smiles

4 months-coos

5 months-first tooth

6 months-crawling

7 months-solid foods

8 months-says mama

9 months-drinks from a sippy cup

10 months-waves bye bye

11 months- self feeds

12 months-walking

18 months-stacking blocks

24 months-walks down stairs

There’s an age RANGE whenever you read about milestones. They often say “around 11-13 months a baby will start to walk but always remember that babies grow at different times.” Why then when children turn 2, do age ranges fly away? My biggest pet peeve? Here comes the 5^th birthday and BAM! the child must read before they finish Kindergarten. Has anyone ever considered the fact that even AFTER age 2 kids still learn at different paces? That’s one reason I love homeschooling! I do not have to stress if my child is not a perfect reader in kindergarten. They will not be labeled “special” in my home if they do not keep up with their older siblings. I have two girls and it is becoming more and more apparent that they have different developmental abilities. My rising 4 year old does not know every letter of the alphabet like my now 6 year old did when she was that age. Why is that? Do I need to run to the pediatrician or stick her in a special school? Of course not. It might take longer for her to grasp the alphabet and I am okay with that. There is no pressure from me as her teacher if she is not on schedule with every other 4 year old.

Think about this! I am 31 and I took 4 years of Spanish in high school and what do I remember? Hardly a thing! That’s true for many people, am I right? Maybe it’s not Spanish; maybe it’s piano or algebra etc. Some of us learn things quicker than others. Sometimes that is because of our understanding and sometimes that is because of our interests. We all have different interests and those drive us to learn things faster or slower as well. I had no need to keep up with learning Spanish after high school so I didn’t and therefore it’s gone from the memory bank. If we have a job that never uses algebra (like most jobs) then it probably will be a subject you will have to relearn yourself before you could teach others.

We all learn at different paces. No child or parent should feel the pressure to conform to be like everyone else around their age group. No other time in society does this happen. I don’t feel pressure to learn to sew at age 31 even though I have friends who sew very well. I have no interest to learn to sew at this moment and that’s okay. So what am I getting at? The pediatricians and daycare workers and new moms are always saying that kids grow and develop at different times and they are absolutely right! However that does not change at age 2. Kids do not suddenly become robots at that age and begin to keep step with everyone else. We generally think toddlers begin to potty train at age 2 but do they always? Absolutely not! Do we freak when a child is still potty training at age 3? No. Our kids are not robots who follow exactly how the experts decide they should be learning. That expert does not know your child; nor their interests; nor the milestones that they excel in. Mamas- all of our kids have their own pace. Follow their pace instead of trying to squeeze them into the “experts” mold!

Grace Greenwell is a homeschool mom of 2 silly girls ages 3 & 6. I also run a small home based licensed daycare taking care of infants and preschoolers. My husband, Ben, of 12 years, is a public school teacher by day and youth pastor by night. We all live happily together in the Annapolis area of Maryland.

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