Our Places on the Team
By Kim Wolf
I Cor. 14:33 – “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.”
James 3:16 -“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder…”
Ever have one of those days when things are so loud and disorderly that if the roof caved in it wouldn’t be a surprise? When the kids are constantly nit-picking each other and the pitch and volume of your voice just keeps getting higher and louder? And then, dear Dad comes home to his loving family only to be bombarded with all the problems. But never fear – Supermom is here! She’ll just take over Dad’s role as Head of the House and he can exercise his “authority” by gladly giving it all over to her. But does that really bring peace to the situation? Does that foster love and respect in the wife’s (and children’s) heart when the family leadership roles are reversed?
There will be no peace in our homes until we find contentment by accepting our role in God’s plan for the family. Not accepting our roles is an expression of envy and discontentment and that destroys the peace of our home.
As homeschool mothers/teachers it can be so hard to “give up” our leadership role when our husband walks through the door. All day long we’ve been giving the instructions, making the plans; being nurse, taxi driver, peace-maker, cook, teacher and Supreme Court judge. It’s hard to lay that mantle of authority aside when Hubby comes home.
In his Advanced Home Schooling Workshop tape entitled Establishing an Orderly Home, Gregg Harris says, “All order is an outgrowth of purpose.” He goes on to explain that a coach has a goal in mind and therefore decides what places on the team, what roles each player plays. “Take away the goal post and the play has no purpose.” When we have a goal, or a vision, our various roles will then make sense. When everyone is doing their own “thing” then there is great disorder; disorder brings no glory to God. If we see and participate in our place on the team, we have order; order does bring glory to God. God’s glory is our goal!
God has specific roles for each member of the family. When women are willing to take their proper place in God’s order they get more of the man they wish they had! We can’t keep going to God in prayer asking Him to make our husbands the godly leader we wish they were if we don’t honor our husbands by letting him assume his role as leader of our home. This is not about superiority vs. inferiority, but about places on the team, about restoring the household to its proper place. My friend, Jami S., is one of the most godly women I know. In my day-timer I have written down something I heard her say, “My humbleness will get me further than my pride.” God is a loving God and wants us to understand true submission and my Bible says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Eph. 5:21) That’s reason enough for me.
Moreover, what is our example teaching our children? Oh dear, I hear that old saying running through my head again, “Children learn more from what is caught than taught.” What are my children “catching” from me? Just as viruses have a tendency to work their way through a household this time of year, attitudes also work their way through. What attitude about places on the team work their way (for good or bad) to my children?
As we practice submission to our husbands we ought to always hold them up in prayer. Remember, the man carries the heavier burden. He is responsible before God to put his very life on the line for us! “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Eph. 5:25)
I certainly realize that we homeschool moms have a lot on our plates already-but when we live out our roles, peace will begin to reign and those loads might just become lighter. Our attitudes will be turned into respect and a deeper love for our husbands (Eph. 5:33) that our children will “catch” and take with them into their own homes in years to come.